[food] neatloaf!

Rowan took me to a vegetarian restaurant in San Francisco run by disciples of Sri Chinmoy, a reasonably jovial guru who could be seen lifting sheep on a back-wall TV screen throughout our meal. Rowan then offered me some neatloaf from her plate, and it only took one bite to realize that her advance praise of neatloaf was not exaggeration. She also mentioned that a friend of ours had tried to reverse-engineer it, but couldn't figure out all of the ingredients.

On returning, I mentioned all this to Rosa, who thought to search the web for recipes. She found this, which was fully weird enough to make me suspect it was Sri Chinmoy's real recipe, presumably stolen by the forces of darkness to keep money out of Chinmoy's pocket.

We made it last night, and while it wasn't perfect-- I remember the restaurant's version being slightly less moist, with more of a crust on the outside-- it was delicious, and eerily like what we had eaten in Dan Francisco. My only complaint was the sauce's sweetness; less-sugary ketchup and maybe a longer baking time are the only changes I plan to make next time. And oh, there will be a next time.

Here's the recipe as posted at Recipe Link; strike-throughs and italics represent our changes. We realized afterward that the amounts will come out a little nicer if you multiply everything by 1.5, though if your store doesn't sell ricotta and tofu in convenient quantities (why *14* ounces?) there's less point in doing so.

LOAF:
4 eggs
2/3 envelope Lipton Onion Soup Mix (the whole packet measures 1/4 cup, so use slightly less or use the whole packet if you like the onion soup mix taste) - for vegetarian version substitute dry soup mix without beef bouillion [Wait, is normal Lipton Onion Soup Mix not vegetarian? Is Sri Chinmoy's neatloaf not vegetarian? We used something called Lipton Recipe Secrets that was beefless but came in larger packets. 2/3 of 1/4 cup is 1/6 cup, for what it's worth.]
1/3 LB low-fat ricotta cheese
1/3 LB firm tofu (mashed into small pieces)
1/4 cup vegetable oil of choice olive oil
1/3 cup chopped onions
1/2 cup cooked brown rice brown rice, cooked
1/2 tsp. oregano
1/2 tsp. basil
1/4 tsp. rosemary (fresh is good)
4 cups (dry measured) Special K (note: this approximately equals 4 oz or 113 grams of the cereal by weight)
1 1/2 tbsp. chopped garlic

SAUCE:
1/2 cup ketchup
1/8 cup Dijon mustard
1/4 cup molasses
1/8 cup to 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar (to taste)
Pinch cayenne ground pepper (to taste)

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F.

Saute onions and garlic until onions are translucent. [We did this in extra oil, leaving the 1/4 cup to be an ingredient on its own. The loaf ended up moist enough that I suspect we were wrong, not that it was a problem.]

Beat eggs in a bowl, and then add all other ingredients (from LOAF block) except the Special K, which you should crumble in a separate bowl. Mix well and then add fold in the Special K last. Put in pan that is sprayed with cooking oil coated lightly with butter.

Bake for 1 hour. While it bakes, mix all the sauce ingredients together. Pour sauce over loaf after 1 hour, and bake for 10 more minutes. Serves 4.